


In the Silence (an Echo Lost in Space)

by Petr1chor



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Gets a Hug, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Pre-Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark, Pre-Slash, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 03:25:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14035155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petr1chor/pseuds/Petr1chor
Summary: December 16th comes around, and Tony finds himself doing something unexpected.****Tony came to a startling realisation. December 16th had never been easy for him, but he wasn't the only one in the compound who had bad memories of this day. Living seventy years without guilt or remorse, it must be overwhelming to remember killing the great Howard Stark and Maria Stark (and nearly killing their son last year, but that's another matter).





	In the Silence (an Echo Lost in Space)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfic, so criticism is very welcome

December 16th had never been an easy day for Tony, not since 1991, atleast. But in the wake of the super hero civil war and _Siberia_ , and the rogue Avengers moving back in, in the past year, Tony found himself, at 1am in the storage area that he had never stepped foot in. Everytime he moved, he had his people move the boxes labled Stark Mansion, but he never got anywhere close to it.

Tony sighed as he looked around at the boxes, willing himself to let go of the stoic show he had gotten so used to putting on. He precariously trailed his fingers on them, collecting dust on his fingertips, until his fingers traced over the letter M.

His sharp intake of breath surprised him, his mother's name causing a lump to form in his throat. He opened the box with reluctant hands. The first thing his eyes fell on was an ornately framed picture which had always say on his mother's dresser. It had a bit a sepia tint, featuring Mother, wearing her casual daily wear, but looking regal all the same, her hand held his own, and he looked about six years old. In his other hand, he clutched a Bucky Bear like his life depended on it.

Tony came to a startling realisation. December 16th had never been easy for him, but he wasn't the only one in the compound who had bad memories of this day. Living seventy years without guilt or remorse, it must be overwhelming to remember killing the great Howard Stark and Maria Stark (and nearly killing their son last year, but that's another matter).

He gave a bone weary sigh.  
" FRIDAY? "  
" Yes, boss? "  
" Where is Sergeant Barnes, currently? "

***  
When Tony reached the rooftop, clutching two mugs of hot chocolate like lifelines, Bucky was sitting with his legs dangling over the edge.

"You know", Tony began, " I don't think even super soldiers can survive a drop from this high."

Bucky was up and turned around in less than a second, his eyes battle-ready. When he saw was in from of him, however, his face morphed to show fear, and guilt and something else Tony simply couldn't place.  
" Stark.", He said, stiffly.

Tony couldn't help but notice the slight tremor in Bucky's body. Even in mid December, the weather in DC wasn't cold enough to make a a super soldier cold, and he didn't know what to attribute this tremor to.

So he simply said " Barnes " with a curt nod.

The stood there for a few minutes, the silence pregnant and awkward. After the first two minute Tony began to regret this whole endeavour. It wasn't his responsibility to take in and comfort every stray.

But he sighed again, that tired little sigh that seemed to be gracing his lips far too often these days. The one that indicated that he was going to do something against his better judgement, just because it was the _right_ thing. _Ugh_

" You seem cold, we should go inside", he said in that Iron Man voice that booked no doubt, and turned around, knowing he would be followed.

He walked to the communal living room and unceremoniously draped himself over the armchair. He nodded towards the couch.

Bucky seemed reluctant and there were a thousand emotions lurking on the surface bit everything seemed to be overpowered by confusion, but he carefully sat down, his posture stiff.

" I made you hot chocolate ", Tony said, without preamble, thrusting a mug into Bucky's unsuspecting hands.

His hand gripped the cup with such brutal force that Tony thought, for a moment, that he would crack it. He then dropped it onto the coffee table with a thunk.

He looked meloncholy for a second before he schooled his features into an impassive facade.  
"Why are you doing this? "

His voice was croaky, from emotion or disuse, he didn't know.

"It's a peace offering ", Tony said, coaxing himself to keep his voice gentle.

"W-why?" He looked pained at his own stutter.

"Because it wasn't your fault", he said, as if it was an undoubtable fact.  
He saw the shift from pained to incredulous on Bucky's face, his shoulders tightening and his cheeks flushing in a strange sort of anger.

"Wasn' my _fault_? It wasn' my fault that I crashed that goddamn car?", His voice hitched and his Brooklyn drawl that always accompanied his distress seeped into the words.  
"How can ya say that t' me? I remember everythin' ya know. I remember her screamin', I remember him begging me to spare her, I remember her face when my _damned_  hand wrapped around her throat", Tony flinched at that, but remained in his seat.  
Bucky put his head in his hands "I did that, all of that, those were my hands even if it wasn't my mind." There was no mistaking the crack in his voice, "I _did_  that. "

"And I forgive you" Tony said, with utmost simplicity.

Bucky's face crumpled at that, and he inhaled sharply. His eyes were wide and damp as he stared at Tony in something akin to disbelief.  
Tony pushed himself off the armchair.  
"I know that they were your hands, but you didn't do that. I know a lot of people have told you that, and as much as you logically know it's true, it's near impossible for you to believe that it wasn't you when you have memories of doing it. "  
He put a gentle hand on Bucky's shoulder, and squeezed it.

"But believe me when I say this, I forgive you "

Bucky's whole body shuddered at that and Tony moved his hand to the nape of his neck so he could tug him towards him, his face pressed to his stomach. Bucky's hands fluttered unsurely at Tony's hips before Tony used his free hand to stroke his hair. At that Bucky let out a barely concealed sob and wrapped his arms around Tony's waist, his hands fisting his t-shirt frantically.

Tony stood there for quite some time, while Bucky let out long over due tears and the silent sobs of someone who had grown accustomed to hiding it. He stroked his hair and ran his thumb in little circles at the nape of his neck, his own tears wetting his cheeks. He kept up a soft mantra of _it's okay you're okay you're safe I forgive you ._  Bucky clung to him like a lost child finally finding safety.

Tony then untangled his hands from Bucky's hair and knelt down in front of Bucky.  
His stature seemed dwarfed by the way he tried to make himself as small as he could.

He shut his eyes.

"Bucky ", Tony said softly, and Bucky simply shook his head. " _Bucky_  " Tony said, insistent, and slowly brought a palm to his cheek.

He opened his eyes, a little shocked to find himself leaning into the soft touch and then stopped. Tony ran his thumb along his cheekbone, wiping away residual wetness, saying without words _it's okay_.

"I got you hot chocolate, but it's probably cold now. Do you wanna come with me to reheat it and maybe watch a movie after that? Hmm?"

Bucky nodded and smiled a watery smile before saying, "Yeah, I'd like that.

***  
They returned to the living room and Tony plopped himself into the couch like he always does.  
"FRI, baby, play A New Hope, will you"

He turned to Bucky and smiled "C'mere"

Bucky seated himself on the couch and Tony leaned against him gently. He tucked his head against Bucky's chest and allowed the metal arm to wrap around him comfortingly.

December 16th had never been easy for Tony, but maybe it would become easier.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you like it?


End file.
